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Once
there was a man who just loved the trolley cars in San Francisco.
He had loved them since he had been a child: every day he
would watch the trolley cars go up the hill and down the hill;
up the hill and down the hill...and he loved to watch them--except
when old people got on the trolley cars, because they used
to complain about the littlest things. And so as the man grew
older, he developed a hatred of old people, but he just loved
trolley cars.
So
it was no surprise that the man eventually dropped out of
school and decided to fulfill his dream and become a trolley
car conductor. He spent his days going up the hill and down
the hill; up the hill and down the hill, ringing the trolley
car bell as he went...UNTIL one day an old lady got on the
trolley car and demanded change for the money she had put
in the vend-o-matic, even though there was a sign clearly
posting that the conductor did not make change. He refused
to make change for her, and this infuriated the old lady.
She began screaming at him and making such a scene that he
lost control and threw her out on the trolley car tracks and
ran over her. Needless to say, he was arrested, tried, and
found guilty. He was sentenced to die in the electric chair,
and when the warden came to ask him what he wanted for his
last meal, he responded "a dozen bananas." The warden
was a bit surprised at the request, but it was a lst request,
so he honored it and the man promptly smashed up the bananas
and smeared the juice all over his body. He was taken to the
electric chair and strapped in...ZAP...the executioner threw
the switch, but the man lived! The executioner checked all
the connections and threw the switch again...the man still
lived. The executioner tried a third time, but the man still
lived. Now at this time, the law stated that if you didn't
die by the third time, it was an act of God that you were
still alive and you were released, so the man went free.
He
returned to his job at the trolley car...(go through the deaths
of two more old people, and trials, and last requests for
bananas the man smashes on his body and three tries and the
man going free from the electric chair)... After the man was
set free for the third time, the warden had to ask him: "Three
times you've been sentenced to die in the electric chair and
three times, you've gone free. Tell me why: is it the banana
juice that you smear all over your body before going to the
chair??" The man thought for a moment, and then slowly
replied, "No, I don't think it's the bananas...I guess
I'm just a bad conductor..."
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