You use any of the following... 1. "My Babtsya's pyrohy are better that your Babtsya's pyrohy" 2. "My Dance Ensemble is better than your Dance Ensemble" 3. Against: Plast: "Nice Handkerchief" Cym: "Nice Tie" ODUM: "Who?" 4. "You call that a cross stitch?" 5. "Only nerds play accordions!" 6. "Oh, your family is from THE Ukraine, so you're Russian right?" Food 1. You can incorporate fried onions into every meal. 2. You can't imagine life without sour cream. 3. You claim, "Samohonka - its not just for breakfast anymore." 4. "Chut'-chut'" and "Na smak" are acceptable standards of measurement. 5. You scoff at an Americans’ mere 5 course Christmas Dinner. 6. You eat a varenyk, you feel like a varenyk. 7. Salo is always a part of your “diet”. 8. Any meal, any time: Right hand: fork/spoon Left Hand: brown bread slab Events 1. 2-Bed, Non-Smoking hotel room translates to 10 people and a wet towel over a fire alarm. 2. You can't find Nebraska on the map but you can describe 5 ways to get to Toronto under every possible weather condition. 3. You've ever justified skipping classes so you can road trip to a zabava half way across North America. 4. You've had to give up your shower rights to ice and beer in the tub when you make it late to a zabava. 5. Your tent for Labor Day weekend at Ellenville is bigger than your apartment/dorm room. 6. "Debutante Ball" doesn't sound at all snooty. General Life 1. You impulsively yell "To nash!" whenever you see Jack Palance or Wayne Gretzky appear on the screen. 2. You’re TV doesn’t work, so babynya gives it a good wack. 3. Your history teacher cowers at your knowledge of Eastern European history. 4. You think that Comedy Central's, "The Daily Show," has more journalistic integrity than "60 minutes". 5. You hang your head in shame after finding out that Michael Bolton is half Ukrainian. 6. You think the power of the Internet is nothing compared to the power of the BBC (Baba Babi Skazala). 7. If you've forgotten the name of the person you drunkenly hooked up with last night, never fear.. baba will know. 8. Before you start dating someone you double check with your baba to make sure you're not related. 9. You've seen the blank expression on an American's face after you've spent the last hour and a half trying to explain what a zabava is. 10. You've ever caught yourself "air bandura-ing" to your favorite Ukrainian Folk CD. Religion 1. You've ever hit someone with a switch of pussy willow in a fit of religious fervor. 2. If you think that Halloween is bad, try getting someone to answer the door during Kolyada season! 3. You LOVE those surprises- "I've come to bless the house" visits- by the priest. 4. Dizziness is a state of mind in the midst of incense and locked stained glass windows. Physical Activities 1. Your local folk dance instructor is revered as a god 2. You make a fashion statement by wearing your vyshyvana sorochka to school one day. 3. You've spent 4 hours doing your hair/makeup/costume for a 5 minute polka. 4. (for guys) If you can't play soccer, ski, and tie knots by the time you are 5, you'll be left to die in the wilderness. (for girls) For exercise you know that aerobics has nothing on the hopak /source: Ukrainian Student Association at Columbia/